Double Your Butter!

Dear Readers,

After receiving my one-hundredth letter pleading for more butter/margarine related content, I give you this amazing tutorial. Not only does this 48-year-old Jersey native teach us how to DOUBLE OUR BUTTER, but also how to turn in into margarine!

Nothing beats this. We should all quit our jobs and get butterdoubling.

Enjoy:



BONUS: Watch through to the end to hear her say Guam a lot.

A MESSAGE FROM THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT-ELECT

RE: Dear Obama

Dear _______

Please be informed that your letter has been received. Our scanners informed us that you believe you may have contact with/been hurt by/been threatened by a terrorist.

We have filed this in our system. Your reference number is: 609264529654729. Please keep this number near you at all times in case we should contact you with further instructions/for questioning.

Thank you for your interest in the safety of the United States of America.

Regards,

***DELETED FOR YOUR SAFETY***

Dear Obama,

My friend is disappearing
I'm pretty sure it's terrorists
I know your probably busy
But could you look into this

Sasha

Dear Spike Lee,

I have just been informed that a dear friend of mine (Miss Dr. A.W.) may become extinct. Though I regret this immensely, her death would not be in vain if a major motion picture were to be made about her species. 

Please follow her around with cameras until her death.

Yours, 

Ms. Margaret

Dear Dr. A.W,

I apologize for the late reply. I have been in Paris with my man friend Gunther.

A long time ago you and I planned of traveling. We figured we'd circulate every Continent at least three times. Things have changed though. You have upset literature and now it is after revenge. Books are relentless -- they will not stop until you are bludgeoned to death. You're endangered and my house is too far away for safety. I'm sorry but I'm afraid you might just become extinct.


With regret,

Miss M